December 17th, 2018
It has been long researched that fathers who reinforce and support their daughters in all facets of life from the time they are young girls will reduce the chances of promiscuity as they become teenagers and young adults.
Why is this a profound phenomenon? How does a father’s influence on his daughter shape her judgment in school-girl crushes, middle school boyfriends, high school sweethearts or college beau’s?
There are a few simple truth’s surrounding a father’s influence his daughter, but none so concise as this post from Northwest Marriage blog author Rick Johnson:
“Fathers set a huge role model for their daughters regarding the qualities she looks for in men and the standards she maintains. He is the first man in her life and models how a man should treat a woman, how a man should act, and how a man shows healthy love and affection to a woman. He also sets the standard for how a daughter feels she deserves to be treated by men. He even determines how a girl feels about herself.” He goes on to list:
- Fathers who are active, loving, positive role models in their daughter’s lives provide them with the opportunity to use those character traits as a measuring tape for future men in their lives. The way in which a man treats his wife speaks volumes to a girl on how she should expect to be treated and valued by men later in her life.
- If her father shows that he values her mother as someone worthy of love and respect, a girl will expect that for herself from her husband. If he exhibits a model of abuse or disrespect for her mother, a girl may feel that she deserves to be treated that way as a wife as well.
- And if her father shows his daughter love, respect, and appreciation for who she is, she will believe that about herself as a woman, no matter what anyone else thinks.
- A little girl who has her father’s love knows what it’s like to be unconditionally and completely adored by a man. She knows the feeling of safety that love creates.
- Conversely, men who abandon or abuse their daughters set them up for a lifetime of pain, distrust, and feelings of worthlessness. When men are angry or disrespectful to the females in their families, it sets their daughters up to expect this kind of treatment from all men.
- If a man does not provide and protect them, they have no expectations of this behavior from the men they enter into relationships with. Why would a woman willingly marry a man who can’t or won’t hold a job to support his family? Why would she intentional marry a man who abuses or abandons her? Probably, she wouldn’t. Perhaps that was the type of man that was modeled for her growing up and she is subconsciously attracted to that model, believing she deserves that kind of treatment and is unworthy of anything better.
A Father’s Influence on a Woman’s Choices
One area that a woman’s father plays a major role in is the sexual decision-making process of a woman.
- For instance, girls with uninvolved or absent fathers tend to become sexually active at an earlier age than their fathered peers. They also have a greater number of sexual partners.
- A woman’s father also plays a significant role in her relationship choices, either consciously or unconsciously. A woman with a positive relationship with her dad might tend to gravitate toward men who have the same characteristics.
- Women who resent or despise their fathers would look for a man with the opposite qualities, or marry a man with similar qualities and resent him. This can cause much confusion if a woman is not attuned to these influences.
- Women who have not had a model of healthy masculinity in their lives often have trouble detecting predators, abusers, and men who will abandon them. They are in some ways like a lamb left to the wolves. Oftentimes, these women continue to choose the same “type” of men, getting the same results over and over again.
As you can see, a father’s influence on his daughter is everlasting. It is never too late to become the man your daughter should seek or, in the absence of a great daddy, a positive role model of a man who set’s the bar — and standards — high in all area’s of her being.
Do you have a story about a father’s influence on his daughter you want to share? Drop us a line, we’d love to hear from you and possibly share your story in an upcoming blog.
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